Unexpected Outcomes of a New Year

 
With the start of a new year one would expect many things to change. Whether it be an individual's personal mantra, or an overweight college kid looking to trim down for spring break, things are changing or at least people are trying to change or better themselves in one way or another. But there’s a few things about the New Year that the duo of Ryan Seacrest and Dick Clark didn’t tell you about. Don’t fret, we here at Commonz are ready to warn you in advance…

1. Resolution Haters- It’s crazy how fickle people can be. One day they’re telling their friends that Rob has really let himself go and needs to hit up the gym and the next day they’re spewing hate on social media about their disdain for newbes in their precious immaculate gym.  I can’t tell you how many times i’ve seen, “There really needs a reserved spot for all these resolutioners in the gym. so annoying.” Or even, “Telling a Resolutioner to get off the incline press #TFM.” You’d think somebody would show just a bit of support for these poor individuals who are simply trying to better themselves but no. Humans are not only fickle creatures but envious and self entitled creatures as well. Because why should everyone be happy for them going to the gym when i’ve been doing it all along. I’ve been going to this gym for the past 4 months and body fat percentage is below 5 percent so i’m entitled to every crevice of this Gold’s fitness center. It’s a shame because these new gym comers can feel the resentment in the  air and it lowers their already battered self-esteem. While the aforementioned resentment serves as a confidence breaker, it doubles as a prospective gym goer repellent. Which is exactly what the average meat head wants in the first place. Isn’t it a shame to see negative behavior reinforced?   

2. Nobodys Happy-  New year. Fresh start! Clean slate! Anything can happen. Time for change. Time to curl up in a blanket and regret everything you did and didn’t do the year before. Time to head back to school/work with little to nothing to look forward to. Yeah the start of the new year kinda blows. In fact, the most depressing day of the year takes place just 6 days into the year.6! The weather feels like small knives are being plucked into your cheek as you walk outside and it’s time to get back to work and for you to realize christmas time is over. Not too many more things are more demoralizing than undecorating a lovely christmas tree and tossing it into a cold lonesome forest. Time to get your Martin Luther King Chia pet out. At the risk of being redundant, heres the rest of my thoughts on the atrocity that is the month of January. 

3. Nothing Actually Changes- It’s hard to get even more depressing than a paragraph entitled “nobody’s happy” but here i go. The new year is unfortunately just the same shit but in a shitter month. 30 percent of people don’t even try to make resolutions, and the ones that do have forgotten their ode to change about three weeks into the year. No matter how drunk or how loud we sing “Auld Lang Syne” you’re still most likely going to wake up in three months overweight and with the same shitty attitude you’ve had since you got cut from the middle school baseball team when you were 13.