1. This. This emoji IS the shit I don’t like. You know those moments where a girl plays all ditzy and dumb and its just oh so cute and adorable and…. NO. Its impossibly annoying and the annoyance is magnified when people try and bring it into the world of virtual communication through the use of this abomination of an emoji. The worst part is that the motion this girl is making is not even something found in the real world, its simply a fabrication of the minds of Japanese programmers whose opinions of white girls have probably been swayed by the popularization of the aforementioned dipshit-ness found in these United States of America. At the very least, the extinction of this emoji can help restore some of our damaged international perception. Whatever your motive, we all stand to gain from the eradication of this emoji. 
2. What makes this emoji especially detestable and vomit-inducing is the fact that it implies that the user is actually in tears laughing at the image, joke, or whatever accompanied it, when in 99.9999% of cases the accompaniment is chuckle-worthy at best. This emoji has been misplaced so many times that the very sight of it eliminates any potential humor that may have existed in the message that precedes or follows these tears. As a favor to yourself and those you wish to impress, put this emoji on the backburner now and forever.
3. We can all be in mutual agreement that there is nothing worse than girls hanging out together. Absolutely nothing good can come from this scenario. It’s these advice sessions where girls decide that they are “too good for him” or that it’s “not going anywhere” ruining a perfectly good friends with benefits situation that Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis would approve of. Once they come to their Sex in the City esque decisions and finish looking at photos of Ryan Gosling is the phase where this emoji comes into play. It’s now time to go out or “play” as they insist on calling it and that is exactly what this emoji represents. Dumb girls doing dumb girl things that aggravate every man in the process as they cackle and pledge allegiance to each other in the process. Or at least until they get into their next fight over hooking up with the same guy.
4. Unlike other emojis mentioned in this article, this emoji has a time and place for use and it is in this sentence and this sentence alone, “girl, i know you want this (Plum Penis).” This is socially accepted, i don't make the rules i just enforce them. Use this emoji in any other context and the chances are you’ll get the female you're communicating with to immediately get up and take a shower in an attempt to wash off the virtual grime you just thrusted upon her. “Looking to get some (plum penis) tn?” C'mon, nobody wants to picture your penis man, especially if it’s a fat purple penis. Maybe Mrs. Grimace might appreciate such a gesture, but other than that i recommend avoiding at all costs
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5. Nothing says, “i want to lick the side of your face without your consent” more than this emoji. My god. At first glance it appears this little yellow guy appears to just be thirsty or pretending to be a K-9 of some sort but upon further review, this guy is on par with Buffalo Bill and Ramsay Bolton. This emoji is undressing you with his little dot eyes and is salivating at the thought of your unclothed body. It’s likely the user of this unsavory emoji has a lot of questions about their state’s statutory rape laws typed into their google search history.
For more advice with women check out another article we wrote a while back here
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