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Sunday, January 5, 2014

Summertime Sadness: Are you Team High Waisted Shorts?

    
    Another winter break another day spent watching endless reruns of Hey Arnold on NetFlix and scrolling through old Facebook pictures I am constantly reminded that winter is no longer coming. It is here. Gone are the corona sipping days laden with girls in bikinis doing cartwheels by the water to fill their instagrams with. No those days are long gone as we delve deeper into the dark ages where by the time you wake up at two in the afternoon you will only have three hours left of sunlight. It's in this time that I've stumbled upon a number of concert pics from ghosts of summers passed. If one item stood out on the ladies in attendance it was the prevalence of high waisted shorts.
For most it shouted out an image of desperation in an attempt to be on top of the latest trends. But amongst the warzone of cellulite and fupas, buried deep beneath  the cankled cows that tarnish all that is the high waisted short were diamonds of the purest form. These girls are who this article is dedicated to. It is these few select individuals who put hope in an otherwise struggling world and have proudly designated me a member of Team High Waisted Shorts. These gems are what bring us back to the glory days of Saved by the Bell where Kelly Kaposwski stole our hearts and the real first reason to invent time travel. So to those girls that make me stop and say thank you to big man upstairs for gracing us with such perfectly sculpted asses I give you the figurative smack on the butt on appreciation of a job well done.

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